Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Rush Limbaugh Knows Liberals (So You Don't Have To)

Say you're a budding conservative (having somehow resisted the influence of public schools, unions, the media, and New England), and you're also open-minded. You'll want to challenge your beliefs to make sure you're on the right track. You'll want to talk to some people who are decidedly not conservative. Get to know them, find out where they're coming from, learn about the circumstances that led them to reject conservatism. Because that's what open-minded people do.

Or, you could just let Rush Limbaugh be open-minded for you.
I know the kind of person he is because of what he believes. I know liberals. I know socialists. I know Marxists. I know exactly how they do things.
They were and are intended to be destructive. I knew this was his intention, because I know liberals, and I know his kind of radical.
See, for me, this is very simple, because I know liberals. I know how they go about achieving their aims. I know what the purpose of their aims are, and I know that climate science, global warming, whatever, is just a cover for liberalism in action.
I got a note: "Do you really believe this about [John] Edwards?" I believe this and more…See, I know liberals. None of this is a shock to me.
See, I know liberals—I know these cockroaches—and I'm telling you, this just has them boiling today.
You get the point. This could go on for a surprisingly long time, but I'll jump to the best one. And there's a lot going on here, so I'll break it up.
I know liberals. I know the premise of liberalism. It's a tough thing to accept it, but once you do, everything after that is easy. Liberalism is a lie. I know many of you know liberals and you think they're nice people, maybe just wrong. You don't want to think of them as liars. You prefer to think of them as just "misguided" or "wrong."
That's certainly how I prefer to think of them. It's also how I think of conservatives. And a fair number of libertarians. Who isn't misguided or wrong, really? We all are—none more so than those who say they aren't.

But I guess I'm misguided. So how am I supposed to think of them?
They're liars!
Many of the rank-and-file liberals are dupes. They're well-intentioned and have no idea what they're actually supporting. They fall into this, "I feel good about myself. I see a homeless person and I say, 'Oh, why don't we do something?' I'm a good person." You haven't done anything! You just thought something and made you feel like you're a good person.
Ok, first, I'm pretty sure the concept of a lying dupe is an oxymoron. Second, even the liberaliest liberal doesn't believe a positive thought alone counts as "doing something." And third, what has Limbaugh ever done to make the world a better place?[1]
Conservatism solves problems. Liberalism blows 'em up and amplifies 'em in the name of fixing them.
Ha ha, those liberals and their obsession with well-intentioned-but-fundamentally-flawed government intervention. When will they learn? Oh, by the way, I don't know why I just thought of this, but here's what Rush says about legalizing pot:
I listen to all these people say, "I don't know. Legalizing pot? Ehhhhh, I don't know. I don't know the American people are ready." If the American people are ready for the destruction of capitalism, if the American people are ready for the destruction of the opportunity for the American dream, if the American people are ready to vote for an end to their chance to be prosperous…where is the logical conclusion that they would oppose the legalization of marijuana?
Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, liberals—and only liberals—destroy everything they mess with.
So once you accept that every liberal politician in Washington or your state capital or on your city town council is a liberal and therefore is a liar, then the rest is easy. You simply don't believe anything they say and you will be right.
Holy crap, really? Don't believe anything they say? That sounds like a miserable existence. What if you don't want to go through life that way?
"But, Rush, I don't want to go through life that way." Well, okay. If you don't want to, I'll handle it for you.
There you go. Rush has it all taken care of.

1. According to Wikipedia, he's given millions of dollars to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (and helped raise millions more), and he's raised another few million for the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation, which is a lot more than I've done. You win this round, Limbaugh.

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