Thursday, March 8, 2012

War? War.

Is it just me, or have we started getting ourselves into new wars on just about a weekly basis? I'm starting to have trouble keeping it all straight, and I can't imagine I'm the only one, so I thought I'd put together this simple guide to the various wars Americans are fighting right now:[*]

Hope that helps.

* In the interest of space I had to leave a few out, but let's not forget about those whose lives have been affected by the wars on abortion, adulthood, adverbs, Alzheimer's, America, Amish dairy farmers, anonymity, apostrophes, Arianna Huffington, Arizona, art, Asian carp, atheism, babies, bodily fluids, California's medical marijuana industry, cameras, capitalism, the Catholic Church, civility, climate change, cloud storage systems, coal, cockroaches, comparative effectiveness research, conservative women, conservatives in general, content farms, contraception, cookbooks, "copywrong", coral, Craisins, crony capitalism, democracy, Democrats, doctors, driving, the EPA, errorism, Facebook, fertility, Fox News, fracking, fraternities, frisée, fun, gay teens, general purpose computation, grandfathered unlimited users, graymail, GRUB, guns, happiness, headaches, heavy metal, hunger, hyperbole, I-4, icky lady parts, illegal immigrants, immigrants, infographics, invasive plant species,, isolationism, journalism, the judiciary, leaks, lemonade stands, liberals, libertarians, Libertarians, libertylight bulbs, linguistic diversity, men, microbes, "Mommy", money, mosquitoes, NDAA indefinite detention, the 99%, NLRB employees, the Oakland Raiders, Obama's faith, obesity, Occupy Wall Street, offshore wind, oil, organized labor, Orlando, Florida, pajamas, particulate emissions, peace, photoshopping, police, the porn industry, poor children, potholes, prehistoric peace, prostitution, PTSD, pubic hair, Reagan's defense policies, religious freedom, Republicans, Rod Blagojevich, Ron Wyden, the rule of law, the safety net, salt, schools, science, secrecy, sex, sharia law, snoring, SOPA, SpongeBob SquarePants, standardized tests, StubHub, supersized "alcopops", the Tea Party, teachers, teen sexting, Terra, Tim Tebow, the trifecta of tyranny, truckers, the truth, unemployment, veterans' benefits, vitamins, voter fraud reformvoting, Walmart, want, the War on Christmas, the war on the War on Christmas, the war on the war on the War on Christmas, the war on the war on the war on the War on Christmas, waste, weed, weeds, whistleblowers, Wisconsin's wind industry, wolvesworkers, wrinkles, and, of course, war.